Memory is an old friend. I welcome it with open arms, but sometimes I push it away and not let it come near.

Most of the time I choose to do the latter. Why? For a girl like me who never wants to forget, why? Why do I bother to make daily diary entries? Why do I choose to update my blog? Why do I spend hours finishing a [somewhat] useless scrapbook? If I don't want memories to come, why do I preserve them?

I don't want to forget. There are many days, many times, that are part of my memories that are close to my heart that I never want to forget: the day I laughed at this joke, the day I went to that place. The time I was depressed, the time I'd never felt so alive. And yet the ones I choose to remember are those that are not really important: dates.

Dates and memories are not really contrasts; they are part of each other, but they can exist without the other. Dates are important to me. I'm somewhat famous in my family for being able to remember such things, and I'd usually come up with "Do you remember that time when...it was on the 12th of May." or "Today last year we were at..." Being able to remember dates is kind of my special ability (which is why I love history), because they are my way of holding on to the past. Dates are just numbers. They are empty.

Memories are not. Memories are the ones that fill dates, that happen in between those numbers, every second, minute, and hour of the day. Memories are different. They do not need dates to exist. All you need to remember are the basics: that you were a kid, that this-and-that happened. No need for useless numbers.

Dates are harder to remember, but I choose them over memories. Why? Because memories are painful - I have never quite learned to let go properly, or to say goodbye, so I choose to let it pass without feeling anything. Days later I will remember where I was and what I was doing (but never what I went through), fall into the new routine, and not relive anything from that date. That's the main reason why I rarely miss anything. Saves me from somewhat unnecessary tears. Once it's gone, it's gone.

Quick. Easy. Painless.

There are some days memory comes to me and, no matter how much I resist, floods over me. Sometimes I take out mementos on impulse. I hate these days, memories are so uncontrollable! That and the feelings they bring: helplessness at not being able to change things, embarrassment or regret for what's been done, sadness for things past.

In short, pain.

Taking a walk down kioku no michi, as my sister calls it, is no hobby of mine. Not my favourite, but I can't help it sometimes. Today I read the blog of an old friend. I was so struck by the fact that two years had passed and so much had happened since then - stuff I tried not to feel - that I wrote my stat on Friendster: "have you ever thought about how far we've come? ang layo na kaya.. two years is a lot, especially in high school."

Hello, memory, old friend.

Today I continued sorting out my stuff. Nothing special really. There were a lot of visitors in the house earlier, come to look at our buyables. First there were two of my preschool teachers - I studied nursery and kindergarten in our village school. They took a look at our books, and the bookshelf, and teacher Carina bought the old art table. Also there was Louine's neighbor Sisa, I think she's buying one of the study-desks. Then there was a nice lady with a lot of kids who bought all sorts of books.

You know who you are. You said we should be on trips by now. And you were right.

We went to the beach yesterday (by the way, this is an edit post, in case you noticed). Initially it was just a road trip to Batangas, because my dad had a hearing there and us girls - that's my mom, my sisters and I - were just in for the ride. Pero the day before we left they told me we might be going to the beach. THAT SOON? WAIT. I wasn't prepared for that. I need an advance warning for things like that. Besides, wala 'ko sa mood nun.

But there was nothing I could do; you couldn't reschedule a somebody else's hearing for the sake of your own mood swings, so there. It took us seven hours to get to Batangas. Mind you, if it's a beach, it should be on the tip of an island. So seven hours. We got lost along the way and wasted about an hour's journey in Batangas City, which by the way was in the OPPOSITE direction. By the time we got to the resort I was extremely bored. Ilang oras ka ding nakaupo sa kotse, no?

And then there was the beach. At first it didn't look like too much of a beach. After lunch, my sisters and I went to explore. I think I was in "the mood" by then. HA, HA.

So you're asking, where is this beach? It's at the very end of Batangas. If I tell you I went snorkeling in the Mindoro Strait, you should believe me. It's that far. The place is privately-owned, I mean a resort, but the beach is public. If you get what I mean. It's called Laiya Coco Grove, in San Juan, Batangas.

Which brings me to my next point. Would you believe, there are four pages of pictures of LCG on Google? Well. Anyway. Most of them are misc, but there are a few good ones too. There's even a website: HERE. Hm. So the mountain at the right side of the beach was Mt. Daguldol. Hm.

A lady showed us a cottage and we were asked by our parents if we wanted an overnight stay, to which we said Kahit ano (any of which), our usual reply. So we stayed!

Only me and Arielle and Nadine actually went in the water. We built sand castles, etc. etc. I swallowed sea water, etc. etc. ...

And soon it was low tide. And I mean LOW. Because the shoreline had receded to about ten to fifteen feet, and what was once there was not. I was struck to think that we had been swimming in among seaweed, sand crabs, hundreds of tiny snails, and many other little creatures of the sea. My mom and I spent some time on the non-beach looking and poking at them. The water left was dirty, there was a lot of mud, and seaweeds - brown, mushroomy ones - formed a line on the boundary between sand and sea.

And so after several hours in the sun, during which Nadine collected a variety of shells, I climbed a lookout post on a coconut tree and cursed for fear of going down (SH*T!), we explored the stretch of beach that was the Coco Grove, and wrote our names in the sand, it was finally time to settle. Our family was the only one on the entire resort (excluding the happy campers in the lone tent on the beach), and it was good, because it was quality time with them 'rents and sibs. Since we had not originally planned on staying overnight, we had leftovers for dinner - cold chicken and all. But it still tasted good.

There were strange marks on the sand, like that of a little ribbon snake, extremely thin and loopy, and since we were the only ones there, I got kind of scared. But never mind, because morning came soon.

By then the water had risen a little. The ocean was beautiful. But! The peace was destroyed soon after, because a lot of people came. It was a large prayer group from Antipolo and they held a little Mass on the beach, which was fine because...

We went out into the sea. Sigayan Bay to Mindoro Strait. To think that it was only a strait and you could see Mindoro and Puerto Galera (another of the more popular beaches here) on the other side! We were on a boat with those things on the side to maintain balance - like we did before in San Fabian, Pangasinan when I was seven, the first beach I ever went to. There were two guys with us. One was Mang Nardo, who controlled the engine, and the other I don't know who.

Last night I had already decided I was going snorkeling for the experience, and I knew I could potentially be scared. But today I just went and jumped off. At first I sank. My head went below but I wasn't scared at all. I put on the mask and went in again. And brought some salt water in to my nostrils. Again and again I tried, and failed. I was always getting salt water in - nose or mouth. Finally the other guy told me to blow. BLOW AND SUCK. KEEP THE TUBE ABOVE THE WATER. Okay. So I clung on to the ladder at the side of the boat, and went in again. So much better.

I can still remember what I saw down there. When I tried Googling pics of coral reefs, I couldn't stomach it. Because what I saw down there is something you can't see in a picture, something you have to experience yourself. The depth of the sea - fifteen to twenty feet I think; the magnificence of the colors of the fish - blue, violet, bright yellow, zebra-striped; and the size of the corals - the size of a bedroom - was absolutely breathtaking and awe-inspiring. Very beautiful.

But like I said, you can get overwhelmed. Sometimes you can't stomach it. I was both at the same time, in awe and overwhelmed. This is a strait! Very small compared to the actual sea! And yet - very deep and rich in marine life. I always made sure to keep something familiar in view - the underside of the boat, my sister's foot - so I wouldn't get too scared. Fish were all around, the corals were below. And I have to admit this: I got kind of freaked. But don't get me wrong. It is absolutely beautiful. If you ever go to Sigayan Bay or Mindoro Strait, never forget to snorkel. It's an experience of a lifetime, and you won't forget it. Can't even describe it, because it will always be more than words can say.

Moving on. Back at the beach itself, you will probably see a lot of vendors peddling their wares - "Ma'am sampalok kinse lang" - but you watch out for the pearl vendors. They are mostly Badjaos, and they sell genuine pearls, straight from the sea, at only P100. How much of a bargain is that?

If you talk to them, they might even show you the oyster shell where pearls are just beginning to form. There are black ones, and pink, and blue (South Sea pearls I think), and of course white. Just think: a pair of earrings and a ring made of REAL pearls for P100. Plus you'll be helping the Badjaos. Sinisid pa nila yan para sayo! :))

Going back to Manila took only four hours this time, and we saw Christopher de Leon campaigning for vice mayor or governor I think, but for now, boy am I tired.

Today is Sunday! Hahahaha...for some reason I still think I'll be going to school tomorrow (which I'm not) and for some reason I still think we have the dreaded PE (which we don't).

So yesterday the family went out again. I felt quite weird actually and I still do. My dad was playing '70s tracks on the cassette and it made me backtrack. I don't know why I could relate to those songs, maybe because I grew up hearing them, but I could and I went to way way back in my own past. I even got to thinking I had a previous life, maybe I'm a reincarnation, maybe I'm really an old soul. Is that why I'm this way? It felt really really weird, so I stayed quiet for most of the trip. I still can't explain the feeling, but I was in a sort of dream state. You know? Like I wasn't living in reality. It was made more so by the fact that I was dizzy.

So now I'm still dizzy and am thinking of taking a pill to stop it. I feel like I'm out of focus.

Anyway, the car trip led us to U.P. Diliman (University of the Philippines, Diliman campus), where we were supposed to sell my sister's old violin. The woman, dumb as she was, didn't buy it. By the way, U.P. is not made of one building, it is scattered around a huge area. There are grass fields like the Sunken Garden and the Oval in between, and many trees. There is also the shopping complex, and residential areas, which leads me to explain my childhood.

So believe it or not, I grew up in U.P. That is where I learned to walk - I have pictures of me on our street there. We lived near the Oval, and when I was a baby my parents used to take me there to play. If you're wondering why we lived in a university campus, I'd say I don't know myself. My father is not a teacher. All I know is that he grew up in the same place I did, too.

We don't live there anymore, but we visit regularly. Usually we do it on Saturdays, to have some...bonding time with the family. I remember last year, I think it was April - yes, three days after my birthday - that we went to catch the meteor shower (we did see some). We went on top of the Observatory roof and there was a GMA news guy there who wanted to interview my mom, but she didn't agree. I wouldn't either, I wasn't dressed for the camera (hahaha feeler!).

Then we also went on October 21st, exactly six months after the meteor shower. As usual we stayed out on the Sunken Garden till around seven in the evening and did the usual stuff. So you see, I have many memories of U.P. My parents made sure I'd never forget the place I spent my first two years in.

Weird. I still feel weird.

Ang tamad ko talaga. :))

Not in relation to above quote:
We have the Sto. Nino celebrations in school every year, and it is always accompanied by a fair. Last year and this, I bought a quail. The old one was named Coke (in honor of my ex-crush) and this one was appropriately named Panget. Haha joke lang. Panget is the cutest quail I've ever seen. :)

But Panget died today. And it was quite sad, you know, because before I went to school this morning he was still alive. The trouble with him was, he had a broken leg.

Every night I would pray that nothing would happen to him, but the quail was one frisky little thing, kept running around and slipping, chirping loudly as he went. Ayan tuloy, nabalian.

We're having cold weather now since it's January, and I feared he would get cold. Yesterday I bundled him up in an old cloth, and last night when I looked it had sixteen pieces of, er, crap on it. But Panget was still cute. :)

I also noticed that lately he was getting quite fat. No wonder, since I was always putting food in his box. He was a plump little quail who was always eating. And boy was he noisy.

You have to forgive me for the over-adjectivizing (haha) because I'm missing my pugo right now. If a quail has been living with you for the past week and three days, you would surely miss all the things he did. That is how I feel right now. To think that I'd taken him out this morning, and now to find him dead...

BELATED POST! Outreach for A.Y. 2006-2007

December 6, 2006, Wednesday

Things you can ask the inmates:
-Name
-Province
-Marital Status
-Dependents (No. of Children)
-Occupation
-How did jail change your life?
-How do you feel about our visit? Your impression of us?
-How is life in the prison?
-Hardships/trials in the prison
-Message about freedom
-Experience with God
Rules:
-No jewelry
-No gadgets (cellphones to be left at the Prefect of Students)
-And most important...silence

// //

Last year our class planted mahogany trees.

This year we had reason to get excited: we were going to New Bilibid Prison. We were supposed to go last week, on November 30, but a typhoon was on the way. This typhoon later caused thousands of deaths in the Bicol region, and a mudslide in Albay.

Anyway, I arrived in school the usual time. We had our first three classes in pants and PE shirt, and they just had to give us homework (they never let us off!) After that, we went down to the Students' Lounge for the orientation, where we were told the rules and what to ask the inmates. Then we had a very long lunch. Section 46 and another 4th year section were first to be called on the buses. There were only two.

It was an ordinary, although longer, lunch period--we played games, chattered about as usual, and played pranks on each other (our class is really noisy). Then Section 11 was called, so we got to be the last.

At around 1 PM, we finally got to ride the bus. We grabbed our donations (in my case, three to help) and ran mostly yelling to the two ManVar buses waiting outside Gate 6. We got hyper; we were excited!

Sir Manuel was on our bus. It was hilarious! I sat with Christian, Roselyn was on the other side. My busmate Roberto was on the aisle seat. Half of Section 17 was with us (Boo was there) and half was in the other bus with Section 28.

Around Madrigal, the people in the green van in front of us started laughing. It was funny, so we laughed at them too. The bus got to Daang Hari, and after a while arrived at the prison.

It was just a small gate, you wouldn't realize it led to a prison at all. And to my great surprise, it was right outside Portofino Homes. Anyway our buses were stopped and inspected; Sir Manuel said we had just gone through the employee exit. There were barbed-wire fences at least 20 feet high surrounding the correctional center. There were about two layers and they were, erm, scary-looking.

Finally, we got off the bus at a field opposite the Medium Security Camp (the sign there said that.) The first year and second year were separated and each class was arranged by number. We found out that the people in the green van before ours was a third-year band (there were no juniors in our outreach.) We were given labels. The tags ran out since there were only 150 made, and I was the 151st. Ha, ha.

Then we walked in a line to the inspection center. The guards were women, and they had big voices and crew cuts. They were also very strict. One pushed me and said "Dun ka na" after I passed the semi-inspection. There was another inspection where our pockets were searched; papers were found in mine and the guard was sort of suspicious. "Papel lang yan..." I said. There were maximum-security inmates digging in the room behind us.

Our IDs were taken at the next room. We walked on again, past other inmates, until we got to a covered court where the previous sections were.

The medium-security inmates were on a sing-and-dance program, and when we arrived they were doing a dance number. They did not look like prisoners at all. In fact, if not for the 20-foot barbed wires, it would not look like a prison at all. The inmates were like the ordinary commuters you see everyday along Service Road. That's when I realized that they were also humans. They were people. They may have killed one or two, but that didn't make them any different from us.

After the dance, other inmates performed a medley of songs. They had surprisingly good voices. They sang stuff we all knew: Kung Wala Ka and some other OPM song. It was really touching for me. They knew the same songs we knew. They were in jail, but they were singing songs by Hale (haha corny rhyme). I mean, wow.

I noticed something kind of haunting. There was a man in the middle of the line I noticed right away. His face looked pinched and he had no front teeth. I was a little bit frightened because, excuse the word, it was freaky. But he was singing with all his heart. You could tell by the way he looked up.

They were all looking up. They were all singing with their hearts. I truly believe that because I saw it. And people paid attention to them. Five others, besides the one I noticed, were missing their eyeteeth. I wouldn't call it pathetic, I didn't even think that they probably hadn't brushed in days. Like I said earlier, it was sort of haunting and touching.

That image of the formerly-hardened inmates, lacking a few teeth but singing like they meant it, would stay with me long until the visit was over. I can still see it clearly in my mind's eye.

A few numbers later and after the green-van people had performed, Mario came up front and sang Hallelujah. Kaboses nya si Bamboo... and the people went wild! Then he gave a rose to Anne. Haha. Woohoo.

And after that, the inmates did another number, in which they didn't ask us to applaud. Instead, we were to listen to the message of the song they performed. It was something called Bilangguang Walang Rehas, which in English means Cage Without Bars (it may sound corny like that because it's better and deeper in Tagalog.) I'm sorry to say I got distracted talking to my seatmate, so I have no particular reaction.

As soon as the program was over, we were to have a one-on-one session with an inmate. I was a bit nervous, because these people, after all, had committed crimes. I prayed I would have the strength/courage to talk to a criminal. I also prayed I wouldn't get one missing his front teeth.

Roselyn and I were assigned as a pair, and we got a decent-looking man as our subject. We were seated on Monoblock chairs, with the others scattered around, in the covered court.

Our inmate's name was Feliciano Sagganay (or something like that; I couldn't see his ID). He said he was from Zamboanga, which coincidentally, was Roselyn's province too. So that gave them a lot to talk about (Chavacano, where in Zamboanga they lived, etc.) The interview basically was a life-changing experience for me. We learned that Mang Feliciano was one of the "innocents" in the prison, one of those who were wrongly accused of committing a crime he didn't do. He was convicted of murdering his neighbor, which he said he never did. And you know, I believed him. This man was a father, a husband, a simple farmer who couldn't probably even scrape up enough. Like I said, he was decent-looking. He did look innocent.

And then we asked him some questions. Of course, we had to speak in Tagalog.

US: Hello po... San kayo nanggaling bago kayo napunta dito?
FELICIANO: Sa Zamboanga.
ME: May anak po ba kayo?
F: Meron. Isa. Ilang taon na kayo?
ROSELYN: 14 po.
F: Ah, ganun na rin siya.
ME: Sori po kung tinanong ko, pero ilang taon na po kayo dito?
F: Nakulong ako nung 1996... Ilan na ba yun? Apat na taon pa nga lang yung anak ko nung kinulong ako eh.
ME: Sampu... So hindi nyo na po siyang nakitang lumaki?
F: Hindi...
ME: Okey naman po kayo dito?
F: Ayos naman, pero siyempre nahihirapan. Walang bumibisita eh, lahat sila nasa Zamboanga. Tapos yung asawa ko,
may iba nang kasama. Siyempre nasa kulungan ako tapos wala na siyang kasama...
ME: Sa tingin nyo po, patas lang na pinadala kayo dito kahit hindi naman kayo yung gumawa ng krimen? (I was careful
not to say "bilangguan")
F: May natututunan naman ako dito.
R: So ano pong paborito nyong gawin?
F: Mag-aral. Marami nga akong natututunan eh. 4th year na ako.
ME: Ilang taon na kayo?
F: Ano, 38.
ME: May kaibigan naman kayo? (At this point I was running out of things to say. I elbowed Roselyn, and Mang Feliciano
was looking around...)
F: Ano yun? Medyo mahina na kasi pandinig ko eh.
ME: May kaibigan naman po kayo dito?
F: Siyempre meron. May samahan talaga.
ME: Oo siyempre meron. Hahaha...
R: Saan po kayo sa Zamboanga?
F: --said something like Talun-talon--
R: Ah, kami malapit sa airport eh.
F: Malayo kami dun.
ME (after a long pause): Tingin nyo po, bahagi ito ng plano ng Panginoon na ipadala kayo dito? Naniniwala po ba kayo
sa Panginoon?
F: Oo naman. Mahirap lang kami sa Zamboanga eh. Dito naman, nakakapag-aral pa 'ko.
ME: Pinatawad nyo na po ba yung mga naglagay sayo dito? (he was wrongly convicted of murder)
F: (and this answer touched me) Matagal ko na silang pinatawad. Hindi ako galit sa kanila.
ME: Eh yung asawa nyo?
F: Napatawad ko na rin.
ME: Nagbago po ba kayo pagkapasok nyo dito?
F: Nagbago naman.
R: Sa tingin nyo po, may pag-asa pa kayo sa kinabukasan?
F: Meron pa siguro...
ME: May mababalikan pa po ba kayo dun sa Zamboanga?
F: Wala na yung asawa ko pero andun pa yung iba.
R: Eh yung anak nyo po, san nakatira?
F: A, kasama nya yung lola nya.
ME: Ano pong impresyon nyo samin?
F: Ha?
R: Hindi nya ata maintindihan...
ME: Edi Tagalugin mo.
R (after another pause): Ano pong tingin nyo samin?
F: Mabait... para na nga kayong anak, nakwentuhan ko pa. Pag may dumating nga tapos nagpapakwento, ayoko eh. Baka
maiyak pa ako. (at this point or some other we were all tearing up a bit, including Mang Feliciano)
US: Ah.
R: Ano naman pong masasabi nyo samin?
F: "Mag-aral nang mabuti; sundan ninyo ang inyong mga magulang. Siyempre mayroon talagang pagkakataon sa buhay na
magkakamali tayo..." (munches on sandwich, offers us some which we politely decline, and sips on a doy-pack without any straw
which I think was removed for safety purposes.)

At this the bell rung, which was quite a relief because I really was running out of things to say. I said thank you about three times before the last "Thanks po. Goodbye."

You know what, I was so touched by his story that I wanted to give him my rosary bracelet. I bet that would have made an impact on him. Unfortunately, I was too attatched to it and couldn't let it go.

Haha hindi pa yan tapos. Nag camping pa kami dun sa field. Mahaba pa eh. Sorry kung magulo, copy-paste lang yan sa Notepad. And sorry na rin kung belated. :)

Hey. Guess what. Life doesn't suck at all! So why did I put that in there? I don't know either.

I think I'm up for something new. I WANT TO CHANGE MY BLOG LAYOUT, but unfortunately I am not particularly gifted in the HTML area. Gah. Plus, or minus, my posts suck. Ha, so that's something that sucks. I wonder why I'm always blank whenever I face the screen. It's not like I'm blank all the time. When I least need to be full, my mind comes up with crazy schemes and ideas I want to write down. Unfortunately that's also when I don't have access to the computer.

September 28 was going to be another ordinary day. Or so I thought. At least, not until people bombarded me with messages of "Walang pasok!" in YM. Apparently a storm was coming. Woohoo. And boy was it some storm. It lasted around 4 hours (?) and that's ONLY four hours, so we were lucky. The wind was really strong and it moved so fast, you could hear it. Whooooo. And you could see the clouds up there swirling like it was the end of the world. Wow. First time in my life I ever experienced something like that. It was like a tornado (there was a small one started in Zamboanga, I heard).

After we all thought it was over, it started up again. Oh and by the way, electricity was cut off due to the winds, some 300+ kph (?) Check the news for the storm of the millenium. Yeah, so I advertise. And so what.

I experienced three whole days of no electricity, no water, and no telephone. Totally cut off from the outside world. My cellphone battery was running low, so I kept it shut most of the time. So no communication (except for a few text messages reporting to Kryslette, haha)

After the storm, at around 6 pm, we went out and surveyed the damage. On our street alone, it was, um, really devastated. Yeah, so there. Branches and leaves were scattered everywhere. The yero at kahoy garage in front of our house had collapsed. Beside it, a tree was uprooted. It was really cold outside, we had to wear jackets. Overhead the sky was gray. Since I was looking for some adventure, I suggested that we go outside the village and see what had happened. So Dad, who had just gotten home from work, took us.

On South Superhighway, more than ten billboards had collapsed. Shows you just how dangerous they are. Fortunately, none fell on roofs. A huge tree had fallen over and completely blocked the entrance to Greenvale (where we once lived). More trees near the church had been stripped of their leaves. So wow, the damage done was big.

That night I slept without the fan. It wasn't that hot, thank God for the wind. Friday was an ordinary (and hot) day. It was quite boring, since there was nothing to do. Saturday and still no electricity. And then came the dreaded news. "Walang tubig." And I hadn't shampooed since Thursday. Oh nooo. So we went to my tita's house in Quezon City. I got to see my baby niece Iya (sorry, no pics; she's really cute though). At around seven, our maid called up my mom and told us... well, you can guess!

At 3 AM though, electricity was out, again. Ugh. Sunday, blah nothingspecialhappened. Then at 11 PM viola, lights went on. Monday, no classes as declared by the Muntinlupa mayor. By then our Long Test II had been postponed for four days. And then at 7:30 PM... no electricity again! This sucks.

Tuesday, which was yesterday, the fan suddenly went on at six AM. And off again at around 10:30 PM, when I was studying for my SS test (cause finally, we had classes). Boo. It came on today at one AM. Yes, people, I was awake when it happened. Haha.

So life doesn't suck at all! Almost six days of no electricity was quite an adventure for me, who has an otherwise ordinary life. And tomorrow, the winning SAN BEDA team comes to school. Hurray for the basketball fanatics.

Ah wait. Gotta go; will research on... THE EXTERNAL ANATOMY OF A FROG. Oh yeah and before I forget, try this: Milenyo vids. Take your pick.

You know the guy on Discovery Channel (or Animal Planet?), Steve Irwin? He's dead. I know, I was shocked too. My mom told me the news this morning and at first I was "Okay okay whatever, now will you please go; I have to study" but then she told me how he died and I went "Whoa."

Apparently they were filming in Australia's Great Barrier Reef when a stingray came under Steve (in the water) and its tail went right through his chest. Ow. Mom said the tail had sort of "barbed wire" and how that must have hurt! I shuddered the moment she said that.

I used to get annoyed by the guy every time his show came on TV and my dad insisted on watching it, because I didn't like how he got close to things like crocodiles and snakes (yeah, he isn't called Crocodile Hunter for nothing). But I feel sorry for the guy. I'm still in a sort of shock over the whole thing.

Anyways how my mom found out about it was Yahoo last night. I think it made front page news. Today - just now - I checked back on it and there is a link that says "Crocodile Hunter's Death Caught on Tape". I didn't even look.

I will miss that thick accent and the khaki, though as I said before I never liked him or his show. Steve Irwin. Dead. Haaay.
And why is it that no matter how you hate someone, when they die you can only think of the good things (not that I hate Steve Irwin; I don't even have anything against him).

Let this be a lesson to us...haha. But seriously, two things you can think about: "Life is short and you don't know which moment will be your last, so make each moment last and live it like it IS your last" and "Neber eber disterb da balans op neychur" or "Go live and be extreme, but don't risk your life on it". Huwatebber. Haha. Bye. :))

Just finished reading Vicky's blog. Nauso nanaman yung Iris! Yes! Adik ako dun eh... :) Yeheyeheyehey!

So, I haven't been able to update (again) because I've been too busy. Or lazy. Or probably both. For now I'm just going to try and sum up everything that happened since last post or even before that.

Lemme see...kelan ba yung pumunta kami sa La Mesa Ecopark? Basta yun. Tapos the week after, sa Quezon City Circle. Then Nayong Pilipino (didn't know it was up again). Things in common? Biking. Sayang may ginawa akong full story nung sa NP kaso naubusan kami ng internet card bago ko mapost. Oh well. Tinatamad akong magkwento eh. Take note pala na baka umalis na kami next year papuntang Canada (wah) so yung mom ko kung sansan kami dinadala. Kelan lang pumunta kami sa Antipolo, Rizal. Ang ganda dun! Lalo na yung sa top ng mountain. Might edit this and upload pics later (asa ka naman, hindi ako naglalagay ng pics kaya nga boring eh). Tapos last week Tiendesitas. Bukas, wala. Sira kotse eh.

Kanina pala cinelebrate yung Buwan ng Wika sa school. Nakacostume kaming lahat, tapos panalo pa yung section namin sa "best costume" ekek. Basta na...

Switch back to English. Everyday when I wake up, instead of thanking God for another day I always say "May pasok nanaman! Ayoko na..." Always. Actually going to school is fine but waking up really early kinda pisses me off. Sorry if I'm going to use some bad words but I'm feeling sort of rotten today. No, not really; I'm just recalling how I feel in the mornings. Today especially. Aside from the fact that I have to wake up at 5 AM and the stress of finishing the homework overload* I still have to fix my costume. Damn. So I threw a fit, like a little girl. Normally I don't have tantrums, but I just had about enough today. So I said "God, why another day?" Of course, I regret that now. God even made this day great! So you see how good He is. I get mad at Him, and He gives me a present. Ta-da!

More stuff...we've been teasing Roselyn about being a psychotic birdbrain (which is not true) and since she's kind of pikon, well, she got mad. There's even a site: I Am A Psychotic Birdbrain. Don't click! She might throw a fit. Grabe yun pag nagalit ah. Wag lalapit. Nakakatakot eh.

PA, we've been learning HTML codes. It's not easy but it's also not hard. So maybe, just maybe, I might be able to make my own layout. But only when I'm confident enough. Hm, what else? Lablayp? Wala. Garfield? :) Coke? Definitely not. Lambanog. Tom Felton? Duh, crush ko yan.

Also I've been on FanFiction a lot. I lurve the stories there. And also, may sinabi si Clarissa sakin sa YM dati (August 4 ata) sila Tom Felton and Emma Watson na daw! Ows?! Hindi nga...inamin daw nila sa Oprah. A dream come true. Hay. Sana po totoo. Hindi ako selos kasi mas gusto ko yung DM/HG kesa kay Tom. Eh Clarissa (pala) ang alam ko may gusto si Tom kay Emma pero hindi sila. Plus may gf c Tom--kaso break na ata--tapos si Emma gusto dedicated siya sa acting. Wala daw muna bf para sa kanya. Pero kung may video si Alinne, kung sino man yun, pahiram! Pakilala moko...I have to watch it.

Currently in my head:

Life is a highway, I won't ride it all night long
Cause you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long...

Huwipee. Life is a highway. Don't ride it all night long.


*Well, at least it's overload for me. I keep postponing kasi eh; computer muna bago aral. Haaay. Ang bababa tuloy ng grades ko. Argh! Gotta work harder. At lalo na sa SS, kasi andami talagang binibigay na assignments tapos yung iba super hirap. Mali mali pa yung ginagawa ko. Lately medyo naiinis ako sa sarili ko...I think I DON'T TRY HARD ENOUGH.

Boy am I tired of this layout...

So, our retreat is over and done with. It was really fun, but prepare to be bored as I write an almost-full account of what happened on July 18-19 at Capuchin Retreat Center, San Sebastian, Lipa, Batangas.

We boarded the bus at around 7 - correct me if I'm wrong. Ang saya dun! I finished the rest of my retlets (unfortunately I still owe three people theirs). We got there at around 9:15 - again, sorry if my times are wrong; these are just estimates. Section 26 was in the garden in front of CRC, waiting for the bus. Since I'd forgotten to give Denise her retlet and she was there, I just handed it to her (their retreat was quite over though). So anyway, we got in and there was a merienda waiting. After eating we went to the conference room and Sir Bong Centeno announced that we would be assigned rooms AFTER LUNCH, at which we all groaned. Because that meant lectures/speaking first, and we were all looking forward to our rooms.

Two guys in robes (dunno if they were monks) got in and taught us a song called "With Christ in My Vessel". The song goes: With Christ in my vessel I can smile at the storm, smile at the storm, smile at the storm...as we go sailing home...sailing, I'm sailing home...with Christ in my vessel I can smile at the storm... Some of my "wicked" classmates were laughing because the guy who was teaching us the song pronounced "vessel" as "vay-SIL". Ang sama nila oh...

Blabla kwentokwento with Fr. Chito, the director of CRC, then ta-da! Lunchtime. Dami talagang pagkain dun, kakabusog...

After lunch Sir Bong assigned rooms. We were supposed to go to room 112 (btw, same room tayo Avi!) so I went to get the key from him. Kaso mali pala nakuha ko, room 113! Sa boys yun. Hehehe... :))

As soon as we got into 112 we unpacked and read our retlets. I think mga 45 minutes yung break na yun. The bell rang, and we filed into the conference hall.

We were greeted by a seemingly energetic young man. Actually I thought he was just one of the janitors or something, but actually he was our retreat master! Hahah... Siya daw si Bro. Mike. Grabe siya magkwento, nakakatawa! Dami-dami pa, tapos may "Tutut" at "Potpot". Go to Avi's blog for details; batch retreats are basically the same.

Dinner, kakabusog ulit. After that we went back to our rooms, kala ko tulugan na. Hindi pa pala, kasi may confession pa. Whew, muntik na kong magbihis... :))

We went into San Damiano Chapel upstairs, where the Mass and confession were to be held. Confession muna, tapos Mass.

Nakooo...ako kasi eh! Napataas ako ng kamay nung nagtanong si Sir kung sino pwede sa Responsorial Psalm. Oh no oh no oh no! So I went. Si Fr. Chito yung officiator. Anyway I think I read well, medyo mahina nga lang boses ko. But that's over, so let it be, right?

We finished at around 10:15, and even though Sir Bong said that lights out was 11 PM, he ordered us to sleep at 10:20. Antok din naman ako, so...

I'm sure everybody was texting away at that time. Ganun naman kasi eh. Si Kryslette at Wesly naiwan sa hallway para magpatrol. Kawawa naman...

Woke up at 1 AM, tried to turn the fan off because it was too cold. Nah, too hot. Woke up again at 5:30, when Sir Bong was doing his usual "Girls, gising na!" wake-up call.

Breakfast, then morning prayer, then pack up, then alis. Kaya lang matagal yung Section 28, so naghintay muna kami ng mga 30 minutes. Ay, bago pala kami maghintay may free time, so pumunta kami dun sa mga kubo. Wala lang... :)

We left Capuchin at around 10:20. Masaya ulit sa bus, naglaro sila Wes ng Deal or No Deal with Ms. Sison. We (the Jerome Fans Club) also managed to take a picture of our "idol".

There's reason to celebrate...I got my archives! Ha. A simple thing, really. I mean, who doesn't know how to put archives on their blog? The reason I haven't been able to put it here is because I don't have the time. Time, the usual culprit.

Anyway, two more days until our much-awaited retreat! I'm planning to make retlets for everybody, kaso nakakatamad. Haaaay. Four retlets done and counting. No, actually, not counting. I'm not doing any more. Ayoko na! I mean, who are going to give me retlets, anyway? The only people worth giving to are my best friends and the people who already gave me theirs. So my efforts in making a letter for those who won't give me one in return are, well, wasted.

Yesterday we went to MakatiMed for my TRE. Don't ask.

I have a CD of High School Musical already (painggit! ha!). No big deal.

Yesterday we also watched Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Review? Three words. It. Was. Empty. Yes, empty, in the sense that it wasn't fulfilling. Bitin, you might say. Sure, there were a lot of fight scenes, thrillers and the like, but when you think about it, you'll think something like "What exactly was it about? What did I just see?" Plus the ending made me say "Ha? Yun lang?!" I mean, it was like a ploy to make us all watch Pirates 3. All in all, I would say it was not a memorable movie. I liked Curse of the Black Pearl better. In Dead Man's Chest, a lot of questions are left unanswered, like (WARNING: SPOILERS!)

* What really happened to Jack?

* What will whoever-he-is do with Davy Jones's heart?

* When will Elizabeth and Will really get married?

* What is Barbossa doing in this movie?

See what I mean? No? Watch it.

I like the Pirates movies and Johnny, Keira and Orlando. But this doesn't, in my opinion, do justice to the first movie and the three stars' talents. Maybe they'll just have to make Pirates 3 better.

Yesterday was also supposed to be our group practice at Theresa's (?). I didn't get to come because of my TRE. I wonder what they did, sayang di ako nakapunta. Oh well.

//July 11-no classes because of St. Benedict's Feast Day; practice at Louine's.
//July 12-classes suspended (!)
//July 13-no classes because of typhoon Florita.
//July 14-after school practice; finished music of our play.

Archives ko!!! Waaahh... :((

Well, aside from that, masaya ako ngayon. :) Practice namin sa CVE Long Test (ba yun), tapos dun kami sa bahay nila Joseph. MASAYA. Kaso hindi lahat nakapunta, yung St. Benedict pa ang wala. Anyways, here are the people who came: me, Louine, Christian, Roselyn, Fatima, Joseph (duh bahay nga niya yun eh), JM, Dominic, Ian, Victor, and Mark. May naiwan ba?

After lunch pumunta ko sa bahay ni Louine kasi sasabay ako sa kanya. Andun din si Christian. Biro mo, yung practice was supposed to be 1-5 pm pero 1pm na kami umalis... :))

Pagdating namin dun, blablabla practicepracticepractice. Since kami ni Christian yung sa music, nagdala siya ng Henry Mancini. We had the most fun rehearsing the "seduction" part. Todo tawa. Basta, it would be better if you were there yourself. Grabe.

After practice (tinamad kaming ulitin eh, sabi na nga ba wala rin kaming matatapos) lumabas kami nila Christian at Roselyn. Pumunta kami sa tindahan at bumili ng kendi. Tapos nun, pumunta kami sa "bahay ni Kevino". Pagkabalik namin, lumabas din yung iba. Then we all went for a walk. Hanggang saan? Dulo ng street. Pero masaya! Nakapayong kami, tapos on the way back pumasok sila Mark and Victor sa simbahan. Sandali lang naman eh, then we went back to Joseph's house.

After that we all sat down again and the boys played the guitar. Medyo bored kami lahat, so may nag-suggest na maglaro kami ng Truth or Dare. Of course, sali lahat (except si Jethro dahil paalis na siya, tsaka si Christian dahil wala na siya). Again, let me say MASAYA. Yes, super! Tawa ulit. Marami akong nalamang bago tapos mas nakilala ko yung new classmates namin. Kaya lang siyempre kasali ako dun sa nagsabi ng secrets sa "Truth". Argh. The question was, "Kanino ka nagwagwapuhan sa 27?" Kinabahan ako. Pero hindi pa nahihila ng todo ni Mark yung daliri ko nung sinabi ko "si *toot*" Kalat na siguro yun sa Monday. Sana 'wag, kasi hindi naman totoo. Kesa naman sabihin kong si Garfield, no?! Dati lang yung isa, pero mayabang kasi. Feeler pa (ata...sorry!) Yung mga may alam kung sino yun, ssssshhh! Patay kayo sakin pag kumalat yun. Kasi naman, andun yung iba niyang friends. Kakahiya!

Well, short version lang yun. Kung andun ka talaga, hindi boring! Basta masaya! Hahahaha...nakauwi nako 7pm...add lang. Have a nice day! :)

Garfield in Garfield: The Movie

First of all, let me just say aaaarrrrrgh! Grrrrrr.. Where is my archive? This layout is so.. ugh! Pati comments wala! Anyways, happenings..

We had Bio Lab today. We were supposed to test different substances for acidity and basisity (if there's such a thing as basisity). I don't know what the substances were, but one was urine. Yes, urine.

When Ms. Sison announced that the boys would have to provide urine samples for our experiment, a lot of us went "Whaaaaaat?!" But today they did it anyway. Yung sa group namin, natapunan pa nga ng you know what si Erika eh. Eeeeeew. Ako, walang ginawa. Nao-OP ako sa group ko eh. Pero ayos lang, mababait din naman yung groupmates ko.

We used pH paper, litmus paper, methyl orange and phenolphthalein to test the samples then recorded the stuff we found out. Anyway, end of story.

//

Time.. what is time for us today? Every day seems to just pass us by. Too often, we do not stop to smell the flowers. Instead we wish the day would go faster.

I would just like to share something I read in a book. Notice how, for us, time moves in a straight line? There's only yesterday, today and tomorrow. Past, present, future. Nothing else. Now how about if we go back to, say, the medieval times. For them, everything was a cycle. Everything moved in a circle. Everything was repeated, but nothing became a routine. Let me give an example: They're celebrating Christmas. We in the future are also celebrating Christmas. Well, let's compare..

About a day before Christmas, they're setting up the town square for festivities. Christmas day comes and there is much celebrating. Then it's over, and next year they will do the same thing again. But you know what, they aren't thinking of next year. They're not even thinking about tomorrow. The only thing on their minds is now.

Fast-forward to our time. A month before Christmas, we're already waiting. A day before and we feel we can't stand because it isn't coming fast enough. The day comes and we do our thing, just like we did last year. Pretty soon we don't feel the spirit anymore, because it seems like just another Christmas, a part of our routine. The day after that we wake up and say, "Christmas is over?!" Without realizing it, the occasion we've been waiting for has come and gone.

Ever wonder why life seems to go so fast, and how you suddenly realize how old you are? Ever experienced feeling like life just passed you by and you didn't even see it?

They say the secret to happiness is living in the present. I believe in that. Because if you worry too much about the future and wallow in your past mistakes, you'll never be happy. But if you concentrate on what you're doing right now and just be happy to be right there where you are, you'll enjoy life. If there's something you're waiting for, don't wish that time would go faster. In my experience, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Actually, it depends on you. You can make time go faster or slower. For each of us, time is different. Only the person can make it what he wants it to be.

So what I'm saying is, slow down. If you've ever felt life just passed you by, take a little time to remember. Plan ahead. Then return to the present, look around and see life for the first time.

QUOTES LANG..: Time is gold.; Haste makes waste.; Remember the past, live in the present and plan for the future.

//

Ahahaha.. sorry kung hindi niyo maintindihan yung "Time". I was just thinking aloud, todo English tuloy ako.

Wooah. Long time no see. I can't believe it, summer's over already! I'm heading back to school.. again! Umm.. so, since I haven't been able to blog that often I haven't been updating this. Boohoo. Walang kwento for the moment! Magtatampo lang muna ko.. aaarrrrrggggghhhh!! Sorry Bianca and Jah! I haven't been able to link you yet but I'll try! Really!!

On the upside of going back to school, here's another "fresh start" for me! I hope I'm not so shy anymore. Last year I rarely spoke (okay, that's a bit too much). I hope this year I'll be more outgoing. I hate being shy!!!! And I'll be seeing my friends again (hope I'm with the same people as I was with last year).. I'll always miss dise-siete (go Adalbertians!!) Aside from seeing my friends again, I'll also see you know who!! Hahaha...

Sorry I haven't been providing much entertainment. I don't have the time, plus our computer is still being repaired (how many months has it been?) Boohoo.

Well, hope you guys had a great summer! See you in June!!

Well. I'm already 14! Can't believe it! Nothing changed anyway.. So what am I doing this summer? Dami! Sundays I have swimming lessons (again), Tuesdays and Thursdays I have soccer.. Saturdays I have Kumon (groan) and public speaking.. Wow, I'm so busy.. Aaaaaaahhhhh wait, time na daw! See you next time if I can..

Hello! Finally...it's over! Tapos na ang first year life ko! (belated ata ah) Well, last week pa actually nag-end yung classes, kaya lang nasira yung computer namin sa bahay so once a week lang ako nakakapag-update... Tapos, nakakalimutan ko naman yung dapat isulat pag nagtatype na ko... Well...anong pwede masabi? Nag Town kami after skul...Nakita namin yung mga kaklase namin, tapos yung bedan count nila Aubrey umabot sa 50+ (tama ba?)...Ayun...

Nanood din kami ng She's the Man (saya!). Nawala ko pa nga yung suklay ko pero buti na lang napulot ng janitor... heheh... Well anyways, ang saya talaga nung movie! Tawa kami ng tawa tapos nakakarelate yung story. Si Roselyn nga, parang "napossess" (according to Christian) habang nanonood eh...basta...tapos after nun, kumain kami sa Mcdo, then sinundo sila Roselyn and Aubrey...naiwan kami ni Christian, kaya lang wala pa yung sundo namin kaya pumunta kami sa Papemelroti...share lang...ah...wala na...